Yishun St 11, Blk 144 (part 1)

This flat that we stayed in, was a 4 storey walk-up apartment. And we stayed at the 4th floor.

I was going to Primary 4 when I shifted there. So mum transferred me out from San Shan Primary, to Jie Ming Primary.


As you can see, it's quite a distance to walk for a 10 year old. Mum occasionally brings me to school, but most of the time I was alone. Even though I am already 10 years old, i still had separation anxiety and cried a few times during my first two weeks at the new school..

Yes, I am a baby, i know that.. moving on....

I am thankful to God for a really kind, nice and firm teacher Mr Alan Tham. He maintained close contact with my mum, keeping track of my progress. I guess he was rather a people's person. I enjoyed class.

My Chinese teacher was really kind too. I recalled we had to write a short paragraph about my family's trip to ____. And i really could not write. When my teacher asked why, I told her about Dad not at home, and Mum working. I could immediately see her face turning sad, and she told me to write where we would like to go instead. I wrote about going to the zoo because i was super crazy about animals.

At about this time, I reached puberty. I was in line to buy a drink, and there was this teacher, Mdm Lim (my form teacher for the next two years) noticed me, and asked how old I was. When I told her, she was a bit shocked, but told me to get a bra because some part was blooming..

To be honest, I didn't know what I was going through. I went home to tell my mum, and she realised it was time. She was really happy and brought me out to buy a bra.

Oh, how i dreaded wearing a bra! But mum insisted I'm a big girl now, i have to wear that to protect myself.. Still cannot figure out protection from what then...

Sex education was only for Primary 5, so at that time, I was really clueless about what's going on.

Had my first period, and the next morning, after the first day, I came out of the toilet and my mum asked if i changed my you-know-what. And i said, huh, still have to put?? And of course, mum laughed her head off, i didn't know that menses last a few days.. Anyway, that was that. I was sprouting both ways, vertically and horizontally.. Mostly horizontally, and yes, I was still in Trim and Fit club..

Dad started visiting again, and brought me out because apparently, I am the most gullible. When Dad asked me what he could get me at a bookshop, i pointed out an accoustic guitar.. Of course i didnt know what it was then.. When he bought it for me, he sat me down for a while, and tried "talking" sense to me. What he didn't realise, was that I was already deeply focused on the guitar, plucking the strings, trying to figure out notes for my favourite song.

After our talking session, i was sent home. Suddenly, all the bad memories seemed to be erased away, and i asked mum why couldn't Dad come home.. And of course, mum gave me a harsh lecture and asked me to go sleep.

Days went by, mum and dad started "dating" again, going for supper, i usually tagged along. Deemed to be the traitor, according to my sisters, because I gave it so easily. Heh..

One day, i cannot remember why, but mum made me really angry. And being spiteful (probably coz i was going through puberty), i claimed loudly that i wanted to move in with Dad at his sister's house. Mum, being relentless, invited me to go ahead and pack. Never did i realise, that was never an invitation..

So i tried packing, some clothes, underwear, and I even had the audacity to ask my mum what i should pack. That set the bomb off.

She started canning me with a plastic hanger, which broke. Then she took a steel hanger and continued... At the same time, she started giving me revision of what happened to her and Dad.. as she was canning me, i retreated into our bed room. And next to my bed, was that guitar.

Filled with wrath, mum stormed into the kitchen, and fetched her favourite weapon and started chopping my guitar up. She was totally furious with the "bribe" Dad bought my heart over with. Like some dramatic Korean drama, i stretched my hands out, wailing away as I watched my mum chopped my precious guitar into pieces.

After the whole episode, mum made me picked up the pieces and grounded me to my room.. I cried myself to sleep. I slept till about dinner time, and woke up in the dark, with our study room lights on.

I crept into the room. Mum was flipping files, looking through documents. I sat beside her quietly.

As if on cue, she started showing me the divorce papers, and stated that my dad didnt want me from the start.. She sounded heart broken and sad. I apologized and cried again. She hugged me, with tears in her eyes, telling me not to do it again.

Rachel is here.. Gonna spend time with her now.. Gonna update more..

Growing up (@ Toa Payoh Lor 1 blk 202) pt 3

Since I left off talking about school, school shall be my topic then.

All i can think about was play.. Half the time, no, in fact, most of the time, I can hardly focus during lessons. Back in my time, teachers were allowed to punish children by caning, pulling of ears, pinching, etc. I think of all the girls in my class, I was the only one who had gotten all of the above..

I remembered my teacher put up a drawing of mine on the board, and I happily proclaimed to my mum and dad, i think their reaction was like, ok, good. I was really happy because art and crafts were never my game, and having my picture being put up was like earning a medal of honour.

My favourite subject is music and movement. I remembered always being chosen to perform on stage, be it dancing, reciting poems, or singing. And I was always so looking forward to chances like that.

Never recalled being gentle, I was more like a gangster. I would protect my friends from the naughty boys in class. I remembered one incident, where we were in the school hall, having gym. One of the really naughty boys bullied my best friend and she came to me crying. So i went up to him, and demanded an apology. When he refused and tried to bully me as well, i kicked him at his, erm, you-know-where.. That sent him howling in pain and rolling on the floor, with me laughing my head off. Well, both of us were sent back to class, and faced my teacher with the cane. The funny thing was, many many years later, this year in fact, i found him on facebook. Haha, i dared not ask if he still remembered what happen..

I always had a weak stomach, and bad head. What i really meant was, i constantly had diarrhoea and headaches. Panadols were my best friend since young. so i realised after some time, that whenever i had diarrhoea or headache, i get to stay at home. So i ended up faking sick half the time.

Before you start to shake your head at my behaviour, i had other reasons for doing so!!

Mum was always working late, the only times I got to see her was when I woke up, and she's sleeping beside me. Sometimes, i don't even get to see her, because she came home late, and left for work early. So whenever I fake being sick, mum would stay at home and take care of me.
I seen how tired she was, and i really wished i was an adult so i could work and earn big bucks and let her be comfortable.

So one very fine day (during Primary 3), one of the days where I feigned ill, i decided to tell her my big plans. She was taking a nap, while I was trying to do my math homework. I crept to her side and woke her up saying,

"Mama, I think i dont want to study anymore."

She stared at me blankly.. *blink blink*

"What did you say?"

"I think I dont want to study anymore..."

within seconds, she disappeared from my sight. There were dead silence in the house. I started to crawl, i do mean literally, out of the room. Nope.. not in the study room, not in the living room, not with my earth god.. I crawled and crawled till i reached the kitchen. To my horror, she stood there, arms akimbo, with one hand holding a chopper.

I screamed, and started running away. Well, i don't think i was very bright then, i ran in circles, and bumped into mum, allowing her to catch me. Her eyes were like fiery daggers, burning through my sockets, and her voice like thunder, blasting my ear drums.

"YOU DONT WANT TO STUDY HUH? Give me your hands! GIVE ME YOUR HANDS! I CHOPPED THEM OFF SO YOU NO NEED TO WRITE LA!"

"no no no no non o mummy sorry sorry no nonono"

"THEN YOUR LEG LA (*grabs leg*) CHOPPED YOUR LEGS NO NEED TO GO SCHOOL!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! sorry mummy (*tries to squirm away) sorry sorry sorry!!!"

*mum grabbed head* "THEN YOUR BRAIN LA!! THEN NO NEED TO THINK LOR!!"

"WWWWWWWHHHHEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" me wailed loudly..

well, that was pretty much our conversations that day. I did get my caning, on my legs, bottoms, serve my time out again with the earth god, one super large incense.

My aunt came over later at night, gave more canning.. Made me swore in front of the Goddess of mercy not to be slack in my studies, or else... Which i really cannot remember what. My aunt said later that night, she dreamed Grandma scolded her for making me swore..

Choppers seemed to appear a lot of times during my stay at Toa Payoh.. Once, my sisters were smoking, and they locked the room door, as well as the front door. My dad tried to open the front door to get into the house, but couldn't, so he knocked furiously. i was sent to open the door, and immediately i was interrogated.

All i remembered was standing at the door, staring at my dad as he stormed into the kitchen, fetched the famous chopper, and went to my sisters' room demanding them to open the room.

After that, i dont know how things were settled. I knew my sis called my aunty Sharon, she flew over, at the same time called the police and Dad was chased away again.

We were young and naive, could have hurt Dad a great deal with the things we did. Dad was always a meanie to mum and not helping out with the family. But mum still stood by Dad this time because she knew whose fault it was this time round.

Sorry Daddy..

After this, we moved to Yishun Street 11, Blk 144.. Another period of my life..

Growing up (@ Toa Payoh Lor 1 Blk 202) pt 2

Left off talking about Grandma this morning. Shall continue.

Well, the matter of fact is, i really am not sure where she is, i can only find out when my time is at it's end, and my new life begins spending eternity with God.

Got distracted. Rag and bone man came by, sold my tv for $5 bucks. Hmm, k, let's talked about TV then. Started watching all the chinese zombies shows. I remembered, i would watch it alone at night, I think my sisters are at my aunt's house, and with only one light on. Mum always praised me for being brave, well, she has no idea how scared I was.

Sometimes i don't get to watch anything because electricity at home got cut off.. We had to use the bathroom or toilet with a small candle. My sisters worked hard to finish their homework, with the amount of candle light they could have, and the huge amount of disturbance from me.

I recalled seeing my sisters with different guy friends, and they just hated me because i would tell my mum everything.. I would tell my dad too, and lots of times, these tatter tales got the whole family into a massive quarrel. Soon, i came up with a strategy for not saying anything. If anyone asked me, i would simply reply, "I don't know".

I remembered at this time, i was really curious with the drinking and smoking habits of my parents. Mum don't smoke, dad does, but she drinks a lot. And she always poured the beer purposely in such a way that it would form more foam for me to drink. Stole Dad's cigarettes and took a puff or two, choke myself, and got caught, got scolding..

There was one occasion, Dad bought a strong chinese wine brew, those that you can only take a sip at a time. He placed the small cup near the edge and went to the toilet. When he came out from the toilet, he was shocked to find me squatting there in a daze. He called me apparently, but i did not response. He carried me out and found out that i drank that cup of brew. I really can't remember what happened after that.

You might have thought since now i am older, I would be less accident prone. Not really. Whenever mum put me on the bed, the next thing she realised when she left the room, i'm on the floor. She pushed the bed towards the wall, and did the same thing to me. The next thing she knew, my head is against the wall.. I somehow had managed to do super roll on the bed and just bumped my head whenever and wherever.. So in the end, we slept on top of the mattress on the floor. She placed me inside so i would not roll out onto the floor.

On two occasions, I got lost. Once it was in the Lorong 1 market. Usually, when I am distracted (which i always was and still am), you have to make sure i look at you and get my confirmation to know I am listening. Well, i guessed at that point, mum didn't know how distracted I was. She apparently gave me instructions to stay outside the shop while she goes inside to talk to the shop keeper about a sewing book she wants to purchase. And guess what? After a while, i started looking around for mum after i got bored with whatever was outside at that time. And i could not find her!

I remembered crying and walking home on my own. I had to cross 2 small streets, and a main road before reaching home. Mum was worried as well as angry, but she just hugged me and told me not to give her heart attack like that again.

On the other occasion, we were at Toa Payoh Central. Which means, we had to take a feeder bus from Lorong 1 to Central. We went to the Popular bookstore above KFC, and mum left me at the children's section and TOLD me to WAIT for her. But guess what, yup, i was already distracted by the comics.. Didnt hear the wait for her part.. And so i began reading, and since the books were so full of words and little pictures, i got bored again. I looked up and around. And started getting worried, looked around somemore and when I could not find my mum. I started making my way home again. I went to the bus interchange. Asked a man for ten cents so i could call home, and cried to dad saying i am lost. Then i went to the feeder bus berth and waited. I remembered there were two feeder buses I could take, and i knew the white one would take me to the direct bus stop without having to cross the road, so i took that one. When i got aboard, i cried to the bus uncle explaining i lost my mummy but i knew how to get home. So, the uncle asked me to stand beside him and point out where to let me off.

And so, i did reached home safely. And soon, mum called home and dad told her everything. When mum came back, she took of one of her sandals and flinged it across the room while charging towards me with the other one and started smacking my bottom. Dad defended me saying I was still in shocked and all that, but mum didn't care, because this time round, her anger is more than her being worried.

As i served my usual time out with the earth god, mum told me what i told my class children 21 years down the road, "when you think you are lost, stay there!"

I started owning my house keys when I started in Primary One. Started attending CCA, one of the CCA was after school care, which lasted till about 3pm in the afternoon. We had tuition, which i dreaded the most. Playtime and cooking time! I learnt how to fry an egg, and i thought as i got home that day to prepare my dinner. I could add an egg to my noodle.

I got the wok heated way up, and didn't poured in the oil, and threw in the egg. I think you can guess what happened. Black smoke filled the house. i had charcoal coated egg for dinner with my noodles. Mum came home to the house filled with smoke and me sitting in the living room eating happily away. Needless to say, who gets the scolding and time out again? Next day, mum went to see the teacher in charge and gave her a scolding as well. That was when my teacher realised nobody takes care of me half the time and she started giving me more attention, which i really am thankful to God for. she made me helped her carry stuff around the library, treated me to lunch, and asked me questions about my family. It's teacher like her that leaves a deep impression, i remembered her name is Mrs Pang.

More exciting stories coming up...Got to rest now..

Growing Up (@ Toa Payoh Lor 1 Blk 202) Pt 1

Since I still don't feel sleepy after the weird wake up call at 1am to watch the DVD:Somebody's daughter, i guess i could update a bit here..

After the big hoo ha, from the previous home @ bedok reservoir, mum soon got a house at Toa Payoh Lor 1 Blk 202. I really liked the neighbourhood, something about the people there reminded me about Grandma's home.. Nice warm fuzzy feelings.. Still feel that way when i visited the old place..

I vaguely remembered moving in (was 5 years old), i guess half the time i was playing, not really helping to unpack. I remembered it was a 4 room flat, which means it has 3 bed rooms. Mum had one of the bed room wall hacked down and it became our study room. Right in front of the study room is our altar, with the goddess of Mercy, golden boy and jade girl, master da mo, and earth god. Mum was a taoist then, and pretty much everything has got to go with what the feng shui (wind water) master says. We had a pointy dragon head door knocking thingy right at our wooden door, which proves not too prosperous after all (later).

Mum and I shared a bedroom, Cecilia and Cindy shared the other one. I always been sleeping with mum as much as i could remember since young.

Anyway, I was still super sticky to mum, she had such a hard time leaving me at school, because i would just wailed non stop at the school gate, till eventually i fell asleep at the gate. My teacher tried to pull me away a couple of times, but i just would not let go.. Nightmares about my mum leaving me grew more frequent thereafter... Oh, and those dreams about falling..

Whenever I am naughty, i would get caning, then after that, i would have to serve my time out with the earth god. I had to kneel there, pull my ears and wait till the incense had been burned out. So i discovered a strategy to serve my time faster! I would blow at the incense so that it burned faster. But unfortunately, mum didn't take the bait. She saw how the ashes were all over the carpet and altar, and in the end, i had extended time out with a larger and thicker incense this time around.. That taught me a lesson.

Mum had a police baton, a set of Japanese kitchen knives which she kept in our closet drawer. When i asked her why, she just said it's a gift from somebody and she didn't want to use it yet.

A man started visiting us frequently, and often always ending up quarreling with mum.. One night it was really terrible. The shouts and screams got so loud, i cant recall what happen. But this time, my sisters were with me, and i was in the room where the knives were hidden. I heard my mum crying out in pain, and while sobbing, I pulled away from my sisters and rushed to take a look. Right at that moment, that man grabbed my mum's head and slammed her against the dragon head. She cried out loud.

I hated that man. I really did. I screamed at the top of my lungs for my mummy and pulled out a knife. I think mum saw me and screamed for my sisters to pull me away and closed the door. My sisters rushed towards me and took the knife away, i remembered crying out,

"Don't hurt my mummy! Don't hurt my mummy!"

Then i could not recall what happen.

Soon, I kept seeing this man appearing in our house. Mum called me to call him uncle. And so i did. I disliked him. Because mum always seemed so unhappy when he's around. He tried to hold my hand when i was walking to school, but i refused to let him hold, and clung on to mummy..

Turns out, it was dad. Yes, dad was the one who hurt mum, dad was the one i had to call uncle.
I can't remember how or when, he officially came back to stay with us, and soon i forgotten about all the bad stuff..

I remembered the late nights where they had sex beside me again, and one night, i discovered self pleasure. Might you, i was only 5 or 6. This was also the time, i started to grew fond of women in my life. Teachers, sisters' friends, cousins' girlfriends (now wife)..

Mum liked to cut my hair short and parted it side ways like a boy. In fact, i dislike wearing dresses. she would have so much difficulties putting me in a dress.. All the pictures with me smiling in a dress, were fake.. Never happy in a dress at all..

Sisters, especially 2nd sis, kinda got into the trend of being fashionable, gangsterism, etc... While me, i was happily staying alone at home when i was 6. Only attended 3 months of K2, can't remember why i didn't have to go school. I guessed 80% because we couldn't afford the fees. learnt to cook myojo instant noodles, mum bought them especially for me because they are round, fits the pot nicely.. Hee..

Soon, had to go Primary 1. Still feels a bit of separation anxiety.. Ok, maybe a lot of separation anxiety.. And oh ya, was overweight since primary one, so.. Had to attend TAF (Trim and Fit) club.

Primary school was a struggle. Sisters hated teaching me homework because i just could not absorb at all. I dont know if i was a slow learner or if i had dyslexia... But my words were always flipped, and i hardly recognised any words at all. Pictures and math works best for me. I found my old report book, my grades were pretty good actually.. Hmm, so why did i had so much struggle??

Anyway, at around this time, and i guess i would stop after this part because this would break my heart all over again..

Like i was saying, around this time, grandma past away. If there's something you want to know about grandma, is that she's a great mum. She asked my grandpa, more like forced him to send all my aunts and mum to school because she knew time in Singapore would be different. She's a business woman. She loves all her daughters, even though she was pretty mad with my Aunty Jo for believing in Christ and refusing to worship our family dragon god. She loves her grandchildren.

I remembered grandma being very huggable. I remembered how her jade bangle will clink against the steel railings as she makes her way downstairs in her home at Lorong Ah Soo.. I remembered how she can be one side of the house and grandpa at the other end. not a single word exchange but there's so much warmth.. I remembered her silver mugs. One for water, one for coffee.

Yes, i loved her. I loved her a lot.

When Grandma was really sick, while she was lying in the bed in ICU, i remembered everything she said. She said 3 things.

1) Do well in your studies.
2) Love one another (sisters)
3) Forgive your dad..

Well, she couldn't say out literally she had to signal, and my 2nd aunt interpreted. I remembered hugging her, and telling her i would do all that. And i did.

When i came back to Christ 3 years ago, i remembered asking Pastor if i could pray for someone who died. And he clearly pointed out no.. My heart was so broken. I love her, i really do.

Grandma doted on the 3 of us, because she knew how dad was like.. I miss her..

Have to sleep now, all the crying makes me sleepy.. will continue tomorrow..

Growing up (@ Bedok Reservoir)

The chilly place where i crawled around, growing up is my first home at Bedok Reservoir.

Tracing back a conversation i had not too long ago with my eldest Sister, that's her first time staying together with all her sisters. Before that, she was taken care by her nanny, our grandaunt. I think i can understand now how difficult life was for her then, even when she was 7. Suddenly she had to be the big sister to a 6 year old, and a new born.

We were poor, very poor. Mum had to work 18 hours a day, 3 different jobs at a same place. It was like a high class country club for the rich and famous.. Still, we could not afford lots of toys. If there was anything there to be my baby mobile, it would be umbrellas, cane, etc.. You may think i'm exaggerating well, things DO fly around at home.

I wondered how dad feels about suddenly having 3 girls at home. I guess that pretty much explains the slapping and shouting at home. I remembered Cindy, my 2nd sis, told me that each time i cry, they would get it from Dad.. I was like... What.... and yes, i do believe my sisters hated me when i was young. To be honest, I only started feeling like their sisters when i was in Polytechnic and that was like when i was 19 years old.

As much as i could remember, home is the only place that i really dislike. I love going to Grandma's place, playground, Grandaunt's place, even the coffee shop downstairs, to the kind old malay lady's house upstairs, neighbour's house but not home.

It's always so cold..

Mum and dad are always fighting, and late at night, they would be "burning with passion" with each other, with the very young me beside them.. I was like, hello, please stop the shaking and sound making, trying to sleep here...

And my sisters told me they would spy on my parents some nights.. Gee... whatever...

There were countless times i injured myself too.. Like i was so greedy, trying to lick the "Milk maid" brand condenser milk without getting caught.. So what i did was i stuck my tiny yet plumb finger into the can. And the can was opened with a old school can opener which meant, the lid was jagged and sharp.. So i was happily licking, and wanting more and more and more and after that, finger stuck.. Yup, of course i cried like nobody's business. Sister woke up, shock that my blood was like all over the can..

My fat finger was really jammed, couldn't pull or push.. so my sister asked my neighbour to help and with not a lot of choices left, he pulled hard, with me screaming and wailing away, but well, finger got out. And i think my sister told my mum, and i got a really harsh scolding from mummy..

The other thing i remembered was how i demanded to shower in a bathtub, but there was none, so my sister put me in a pail.. Which i was so happy, and couldn't stop moving, and the pail slipped and i hit my floor against a step nearby. Head bled, sister panicked. She puts lots of powder, and no we didn't see doc, and didn't tell mum. I slept after i cried, and woke up forgetting everything.. Sis said i gave her a heart attack. haha, i can imagine..

And since young, my stomach has been weak, i remembered having really smelly poo, with worms crawling all over.. and my sis has to clear my poo while trying to stop me from counting the worms..

I've seen ghost which looked like my dad, and i thought was my dad, till mum caught me staring at our room mirror and asked me what i was doing, I said, "Daddy go inside" and the next thing i knew, i was infront of our goddess of mercy statue with my hands fold together and my mum begging the goddess to spare me from disturbance.. Only knew that what i saw was a ghost when i was much older..

Always dream i was falling down.. Scares the bits out of me.. Always dream my mum will leave me, thus making very very sticky to my mum, which ultimately makes my sisters hate me more..

before i knew how to stand and run around, my sisters gave me a nickname "zhan zhan" which means stand stand in chinese.. I had lots of nicknames..

And when i could stand, i had other nicknames, and it finally came down to "Thia, thia" which of course is taken from CynTHIA.. I would only cringe if somebody else besides my sis tries to call me that.. eee.. please dont try on me.. Friends call me Cyn so you can do the same.. Anyway..

Things i hate the most are the fights.. I dont recall my sisters carrying me to the room, most of the times i am outside facing the storms.. One occasion burnt deeply in my memory.

I remembered (about 4 going on to 5 years old) i was playing with the phone, because the buttons are really nice to press.. Mum was at work, dad was reading papers.. Oh ya, Dad took out the line coz i just like to press 999.. So then, mum came home, and she was having supper.. And their conversations got louder and louder. Erm, usually, ok, i am always blur, but i prefer the term focus. I was focus on the buttons till i keep hearing my mum call my chinese name..

I looked up and to my horror, dad held a chopper against mum's neck. I was still young and naive then, but i know and understand the threats Dad was making.. Mum kept saying, "Put the line back, and call the police!" and Dad was like "If you call the cops your mum is dead!" plus swear words in between..

honestly, what happened then, till the police came and my grandfather had a showdown with dad, finally got him out of the house. I had no recollections of what happen.. I was shocked.. I could only remember my Aunty Chris carrying me, i think Aunty Jo and Aunty Sharon was there too. i was crying, and wanting my mum to carry me..

And these are the major events that happen at my first home at Bedok Reservoir.

I just really am grateful to God i am much alive today.. =)

Birth

Psalm 71:6

Yes, you haven been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you!

When mum aborted the 3rd child, she surgically tied her wombs.

6 years later, there was an infection in her womb, and she had to untie. A few weeks later, she was pregnant with me.

Have you ever try to guess if the baby's boy or girl? Which method did you try?

Well, sound scan wasn't so popular then, but fortune tellers were.. Mum went to fortune tellers, they told her it was a boy.

Mum walked along the streets, a young child pointed at her womb and said "di di" (young brother in chinese).

People commented by the way her womb shaped that it's a boy.

Some say, the best guess is from the mother herself. Well, mum felt i was a boy.

I could understand, years later, why she wanted a boy. She thought a boy could change my dad. A boy could change the family situation.

That's a lot of hope to pin on an unborn child.

Mum said, for the first few months, she felt like something was choking her.. She couldnt explain why. It was only when dad was quarreling with her, and kinda fling her hand towards a wall, her jade bangle broke, and that's when she don't feel choked anymore... If there's something you want to know about real jade, is that they dont break so easily.. And so, somehow, mum thought i was evil or something..

If you had to ask me when i started drinking, well, don't let this shock you. I started in the womb of my mum.. She said one night, my dad bought really fragrant wine, and she caught the smell, then she started having contractions.. It was so bad that she had to force my dad to give her a sip, which of course my dad refuse, but reluctantly gave in. Then only the contractions went away..

A week before my birth, mum struck 4D. For those who dont know, it's some sort of lottery.

So a week later, mum was sent to KK hospital. I was not ready.. She suffered two nights of bad contractions. On 15 Jan, also lunar calender 2 Dec (same as mum), the doctor decided that mum had to be operated on. so she had a C-section, and out i came.

This account was only told to me on my 21st birthday... As mum woke up from her operation, she waited anxiously for the nurse to present her baby "boy" to her.. Grandma came, with me in her arms, and presented me to mum.. When mum found out i was a girl, she told me her heart dropped.. Literally disappointed.

What a way to celebrate my 21st birthday ya..

But anyways, as i was growing up, mum found out i was pretty much more interested in boy's stuff, and lots more.. All that coming up in the next entry..